To All My Other 1st Generation I See You

To all my other 1st generation I see you! We are doing just fine and we’ve already accomplished the impossible, just keep going!

I saw a video on IG yesterday of a young 1st generation Latina breaking down in a bathroom stall at her gym. She was overwhelmed with everything, the pressure she puts on herself to succeed and make her parents proud. She was so focused on the hustling and doing the impossible that she didn’t realize she was battling mental health issues. I felt for her because I’ve been there myself a number of times.

Being a 1st generation Latina and the oldest in my family I have felt that same pressure. I loved school growing up, I was hardworking and loved learning but you know one of the main reasons that I was so motivated to succeed in school? It was because I wanted to make my parents proud. They worked so hard and made such sacrifices to provide my sisters and I the best life they could. For a long time my dad was the only 1 working to support a family of 6. He has worked his whole life since the age of 9 when he would help my abuelito on their farm. My dad worked long hours in a factory for over 30 years where he wasn’t appreciated as he should of been because in all honestly he was 1 of the best workers they had.

This is my favorite picture of my dad

I’m the oldest of 4 daughters and being the daughter who isn’t married or with children of my own I take on all the responsibilities of helping my immigrant parents with everything. As mentioned in prior posts I love my parents tremendously, they have always been supportive of everything I do, they will always be my number 1 fans and I’m eternally grateful for them. I am a fierce woman and a big reason is because I came from a loving supportive home.

Now I do most every needed tasks for my parents. Don’t get me wrong most days I don’t mind but the thing is it can stress me out and it can feel so overwhelming with all the responsibilities I have. I translate, make calls to customer service and whatnot, I schedule their payments, pay their doctor bills, handle my mom’s refills and her doctor appointments, chauffeur my mom and sister around a lot, as well as property taxes, make more calls, and the list goes on and on. It gets to be so much because it’s basically a part time job while keeping my own affairs in order, work, my personal life, and most importantly doing my best to focus on my mental health.

I’ve told my 3 sisters how I feel a number of times and nothing ever changes. I love my sisters and my family I’m always the one to lend a helping hand and I have a hard time saying no to them but I’m sorry my parents have 4 daughters not just 1 we should all play a part in assisting them because it should never just fall on one daughter or son.

En realidad no seria la persona que soy sin mis padres, soy chingona, poderosa, inteligente y más que nada una buena persona porque así me criaron mis padres. No nos decimos te quiero muy seguido y es algo que quiero cambiar. Aunque no rezo mucho cada vez que puedo le doy gracias a Dios por ser tan dichosa de tenerlos. Ahora que son gente mayor me preocupo mucho mas por su salud y bien estar, y aun más porque a mi edad tengo muchas amistades que desafortunadamente ya no tienen a su mamá o papá.

Mi ‘apa va cumplir 70 años en 2 semanas y cuando este más bonito el clima y venga la primavera quiero tener una fiesta porque hace 2 años al fin se retiro y por la pandemia no pudimos celebrar. El es mi héroe y aunque hay muchas veces que discutimos porque los 2 somos tercos y fuertes de carácter lo adoro. El es uno de los hombres más trabajadores que he conocido. Mi ‘apa me enseño que si vamos hacer algo lo vamos a hacer bien, poner mas del 100% de esfuerzo para hacer bien las cosas y no a la mitad.

My mom and I in Paris back in 2019, we also went to Rome where we saw the Pope.

Mi ‘ama es una de mis mejores amigas. Le cuento mucho de mi vida y me gusta llevarla a comer y al teatro. Nos llevamos muy bien y cada vez que podemos hacemos bromas porque así nos llevamos. Este domingo la voy a llevar a ver el Ballet Folklorico de Mexico de Amalia Hernandez porque tengo muchos años queriendo ir y se que le va a encantar la experiencia. Le doy más abrazos y le dijo té quiero más seguido a mí ‘ama solo porque mi papá es más serio y hay Dios mío ha veces tan gruñon. Porque es abuelo le he puesto el apodo de “grumpy grandpa”.

A few years back when we did a family trip to the Great Smoky Mountains.

Honestamente me tocaron los mejores padres y no los cambiaria por nada del mundo. Ellos me dieron un hogar donde nunca me falto comida, un techo, ropa y nuestra casa estaba llena de amor, apoyo y muchos lindos momentos. Si eres afortunado de tener a tus padres aprovecha todo el tiempo que tienes con ellos.

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