Hi it’s been ages since I’ve been here but I’m back now. I need to get back to writing.
Life is so much better than it was 2 years ago. Not only do I have bipolar but so those my mom. We struggled most with her recurrent manic episodes for 20 years. We tried various medications without any luck.
It was very stressful on my father, my youngest sister and myself. I hated my mom for what she put us thru and more than once I wished she was dead. I know that’s awful but when she was manic she became a stranger to me. She would get aggressive, paranoid, delusional, so full of rage and none of us could reason with her. She wouldn’t sleep and refused to believe there was a problem.Finally her doctor tried a new medication that worked. I got my old mom back and we are so much happier. I don’t wake up any longer wondering who will be in my kitchen. My mom or a pissed off version of my mom with evil eyes.
I’m so thankful that everything is better! Life is good.
Facebook reminded me yesterday with a post of how things used to be before.
My post was the following.
Be thankful if you and your loved are not affected by the battles of a mental illness. Be thankful that you do not have to struggle almost daily for them to take their medicine. Be thankful if you can look into your loved ones eyes without experiencing fear because you feel you are looking into the eyes of a total stranger you do not even recognize. Be thankful if you never question “am I too happy” because you fear you are experiencing a manic episode. Be thankful you have never had to call the police because you fear for your safety and do not know what else to do. Be thankful you do not worry that one day you can pass this illness on to your children. Be thankful, just be thankful. I do not say this for your pity, but only because it is how I feel as I live it daily and it does help to write it and let others know you aren’t alone.
So if you or a family member are struggling with a mental illness there is hope. Things can get better so don’t lose hope. There will be better days.