Valuable On My Own

http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-to-me-my-career-as-a-tv-producer-is-scaring-men-away?utm_source=huffpost_women&utm_medium=pubexchange

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I read the above piece and it spoke to me because I could easily relate. I have 2 degrees from 2 distinguished universities, I travel as often as I can, own my own car, and pay my own bills. I love being able to stand firmly on my own two feet and I’m very proud of my life achievements. I think of myself as independent, smart, and living life by setting life goals and doing my best to follow thru with meeting them. 

I told a friend recently I’m tired of dating. We both shared stories in regards to dates and I just told her it’s so difficult. Sometimes I wonder is it me? She says no because I think the same thing. If men are uncomfortable or insecure about dating a woman independent like me, then that’s their issue not mine. Also there is a difference between being proud of one’s achievements, and bragging or throwing it in someone’s face, that is not in my character.

I have had a profile on and off on a dating website. One guy in particular who I went out with a couple of times told me once straight out “men probably find you having a Master’s degree intimidating”. He made an additional comment along the lines of “you shouldn’t advertise it.” This was coming from a guy who had a BA in Accounting. He say “even a man with a BA would find you having a Master’s intimidating.”

It’s interesting because at that point I wasn’t upset by what he was saying. I will even admit I thought about what he said. This was the first time I was hearing this and it was coming straight from a guy! I told him I don’t mind dating someone who doesn’t have the same amount of education, although I do prefer something more than high school. I have a friend who is in her early 30s who has told me she will only date men with a Bachelors degree. For a time I admit that started making some sense to me, but the more I thought about it, I told myself that isn’t me either.

Now thinking on this, it is more important for me to have some things in common with a man as well as their personality. I’m looking for honesty, a good sense of humor, and respect. I will take the above qualities any day over the guy who shows off his high paying career, is full of himself, is big on material things, and is flaunting the money in his wallet. I have gone out with various guys, let me rephrase that various douchebags. Personality is key for me and how you treat me!

My mom has said many of times over the years “you’re so picky” when we discuss my dating someone. I just laugh it off and tell her no I’m not. I just know what I’m looking for, what would make me happy, and I don’t see why I should settle. I don’t want a man whose insecure about himself and will not accept me for who I am. Being 35, I admit I see my friends getting married and with a number of kids wondering when I’ll have that. I’m a woman, it’s only nature, but I truly do love the rhythm of my life!

I think about being single, but I wouldn’t trade what I have done in my life just to be in a relationship. I want to have them both! An exciting well lived life and a wonderful man by my side! If I find a real man who accepts me for who I am, my accomplishments and how I live life, then of course I’ll jump at the opportunity! Hands down I would prefer to travel the world with someone awesome next to me. We could travel the world, dance the night away, and be there for each other, good and bad days.

Until the day I find this great man I will continue to experience life to the fullest, doing what I want and love to do. I’m a wonderful person and do not need a man to complete me, what I need is a partner in crime!

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