I was out for dinner and drinks with a friend tonight. We hadn’t seen each other in years. We got to talking and catching up. I asked if she was seeing anyone special. The topic of dating and our various interesting encounters with men took up most of the conversation for the rest of the night.
I told her of 2 men I went out with in particular which stand out. Years ago, I was talking to a guy through text, email, etc. He seemed cool and we decided to meet up for our first date. We met at a Starbucks and right away I was kind of put off because I noticed he was too serious. I thought to myself, maybe he’s nervous. We made small talk and decided to grab a drink and something to eat across the street.
During the whole meal I swear to you I felt like I was having an interview. Or better yet think of a cop grilling a suspect in a small room. Yeah that’s how I felt!
Yes on first dates there are many questions to be asked, that’s to be expected, but not the way this guy did it. To make matters worse the guy didn’t crack a smile! He was so serious, even after me saying something funny, nothing, not even a half smile. I told him towards the end of the dinner, straight out, the same thing, he was too serious for me. 20 questions on a first date is okay, I don’t mind, but the conversation has to flow well and go back and forth between the 2 individuals. He didn’t seem comfortable in the setting and in turn I definitely didn’t feel at ease.
This guy didn’t stand a chance, but to top it off there’s more. I asked him if he had children. I don’t mind dating men with children so I casually asked. Do you know what his response was? “Oh sorry that’s too personal to answer”. Are you freaking kidding me? If you are not answering fool, then yes you have children. To this day I still don’t understand this one. I told him thanks for the dinner and drinks and got into my car. I knew before I got in my car that I was never going to see this guy again. I wasn’t going to contact him. That was the end of that until he sent me a message days later which I ignored.
The other date I told my friend about is more recent, from a couple of months ago. Again everything was going smoothly via text, messages, etc. He seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. He was 29 years old and a firefighter. I thought to myself he’s cute and oh wow a firefighter, that’s awesome! Me being 6 years older I also felt somewhat like a cougar so yeah I agreed to dinner. Within 20 minutes I already knew our personalities were very different. I can be shy and quiet when I first meet someone, but I can be direct with my statements when it is needed.
He mentioned he had siblings, but didn’t talk to them much. He was also Mexican like me and I asked “oh but you must talk and hang out with cousins, extended family” He also said no, that he prefers to keep to himself. I just said oh okay. He said “I have lots of friends”. I then asked him “So tell me why did you decide to become a firefighter? It’s such a noble fulfilling profession.” He told me straight out “I didn’t become a fireman to save people’s lives, I just wanted to feel the thrill of running into a burning building.” At that point I couldn’t put into words my thoughts to describe his personality, but now I have the right word for it.
Needless to say we never contacted one another afterwards. We could see there was no chemistry and I didn’t care for his personality. He was attractive and that was it. I told him he was blunt, but now I also know that he was a douchebag. Another reason why this date didn’t go well was because he was sarcastic. Now I don’t mind people being sarcastic, we all can be sarcastic, BUT I believe you shouldn’t be sarcastic on a first date. If I don’t know you well enough, sarcastic remarks aren’t going to go well with a person you just met.
These are just the two stories that I shared with my friend tonight, trust me I have more. She also shared a few with me that had me asking “What the fuck?” I will not share her experiences, but I will try to convince her to share them if I ever write a chapter book full of dating stories. Trust me within my group of friends I am sure to get some great stories for a book.
What was the worse date you ever went on?